I did something a week ago that I could never have imagined doing even a month ago. A lot happens in a month!
From a very young age, I had been conditioned to see things in a certain way. Maybe you can relate.
I had been conditioned to see that I had to be good at whatever I did. And that my worth as a person was linked to how good I did something. Maths, reading, piano, singing, anything.
I liked being good at things too. It felt good to do something you could do well.
At school, the criteria was simple enough. Answer this correctly, play it exactly like this, draw it like this. I could do that.
But when I finished school and wanted to make music for my career, I couldn’t find the criteria. I would ask, but I would get non-committal answers. How could I be good if I didn’t know the criteria to be good by? How could I succeed if I couldn’t find the winning combination?
And because I never had the answers, I have always sat on the outside of my industry looking in. Wondering how to cross over, how to get in, how to jump past the barrier that I couldn’t even see but I could feel.
From where I sit today, looking in on my industry, perhaps it’s all just an illusion. Perhaps, without knowing (or even knowingly) our own industry showed us this illusion. Without knowing (or knowingly) keeping us exactly where we are.
The esoteric recording studios, the charts, the popularity, the competition, the ageism, the sexism… All just out of reach for most of us. And we’ve been striving for it. Striving to play a game that only a handful of people can win. I might have better luck playing the lottery.
Moving forward, are we really going to keep going like this? Are we really going to keep giving our power over to that? What if we could create our life doing what really matters to us?
It’s time to come back to what really matters.
What really matters to me is to self-govern, to create, to connect and to be living into my divine gifts and purpose.
And I know it because it feels so right when I’m doing it. It feels like joy, like love, like the whole universe.
I have been living by what feels right, more and more, for a few years.
From quitting my singing teacher gig at a well-respected Conservatorium (I did a recent YouTube interview about this), to creating multiple online creative communities and businesses, to speaking and playing music on stages all around the world, to now, starting something very “new world” for a handful of big picture creative thinkers.
Doing what FEELS right – what moves me – this, has become the criteria by which I live.
So the other weekend, when I was songwriting (like I do every week in I Heart Songwriting Club), I was feeling so amazing, filled with love and joy for what it was that I was creating.
But then that feeling was zapped away in an instant as a rush of thoughts came by.
Who will like this song? It’s a friggin’ Bossa Nova. My music industry won’t even look at this. No one will respect me. No one will like me. I’m not enough as I am.
And I saw my glass ceiling straight away. The glass ceiling that has been holding me back.
I looked at that glass ceiling all week, wondering what I was going to do with it? I had never even looked at it before in that way. It glinted in the sunlight. I could see hand prints on it that showed me I’d been hitting it for a while.
It felt suffocating. I wanted to get past it to breathe in the unlimited fresh air supply on the other side.
I had to decide. Was I going to smash it or stay here?
And so I smashed the glass ceiling.
I got out Garageband, my Beta Shure 87A (my gigging condenser mic that I’ve had for a decade) and set up a space in my study where I could sing into my scarves and winter coats (that ironically covers my Masters degree certificate) and I recorded my own damn bossa nova.
It was fun, it was new, and I felt incredibly joyous that I was doing this. It felt liberating.
When I was done, I popped some images with it. I made a music video. An hour later, I shared it on socials. Then I sent it to my aggregator the next morning to put up on streaming sites. It went up in the digital stores 3 days later.
That was it. No emotion, no drama. No fanfare. Just a pure feeling of joy, happiness, love.
And it felt so good, that I did it again the week after.
So, yes, in the last two weeks, I’ve recorded, mixed, mastered, and released two singles.
I took 2 years to do that before now.
A lot happens in a month.
If I had waited til I figured the criteria of my music industry, then I’d still be waiting. Instead, I’m doing what moves me and feels amazing.
And my fans, well, many have told me that these are their favourite songs of mine. WHAT??? I made it in a matter of hours – not slaved away at it for months or years.
And you know, the funny thing is, I’ve been doing this for so long. Creating. Making stuff up in a space of mystery. A space where anything is possible. And in a space where something didn’t exist, I would create something.
But with “taking it to the next level” I’ve been stopping short. By myself.
My glass ceiling was that I believed that someone else had to tell me that my track was finished and ready to share with the world. So I stopped short of taking it where I thought it could go, because I wouldn’t be able to validate it on my own.
But when I decided to validate this on my own terms, it took just 3 hours. I already had everything that I needed. I already knew how to do this. I was already enough. I just hadn’t seen it. Or even looked at it.
There are so many creators and artists out there who have incredibly unique and special gifts that they are being called upon to bring together and offer to the world.
Gifts that can transform, heal, connect, and help others and make an impact.
But we’ve been hitting glass ceilings, beliefs, and have been holding ourselves back.
I know this, because I’ve been having conversations with artists and creators every single day. I hear them identify what is holding them back, loud and clear, and some of them are going to be joining me on a 6 month journey to bring together all their divine gifts and remove the glass ceiling and step into their own power. They are enough, just as they are.
What is your glass ceiling? This is the time to smash your glass ceiling and do what really matters.
This is the start of a new paradigm.
Image by Christophe Berjot.
P.S. If you want to smash your glass ceiling and create your new paradigm based on what really matters to you, then reply and let me know what really matters to you.
P.P.S. Check out my two new songs – “Under The Milky Way” and “Put One Foot In Front Of the Other One”. Enjoy xo